- Hey, pardon me for asking, but who's the little old man?
- Uh, what little old man?
- That little old man.
- Oh, that one’s my grandfather.
- Your grandfather?
- Yeah.
- That's not your grandfather.
- It is, you know.
- But I've seen your grandfather. He lives in your house.
- Oh, that's my other grandfather, but he's my grandfather as well.
- How do you reckon that one out?
- Well, everyone's entitled to two, aren't they, and he's my other one.
- He’s a nice old man, isn’t he?
- It’s him, I clean!
- 'Ello, grandfather!
- Hello.
- He can talk, then, can he?
- Of course, he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
- Well if he's your grandfather, who knows? Hahahahaha!
- Hey, who's the little old man? 
- It's Paul's grandfather. 
- Oh, aye, but l thought…
- No, that's his other one. 
- Oh, that's all right, then. 
- Clean, though, isn't it?
- Oh, aye. It is very clean. 
- Are you listening to me, Lennon? 
- Yeah, a swine. 
- Hey!..
ALL: Who's that little old man? 
- Well, who is he?
- He belongs to Paul. 
- Hello. Mornin’.
- Aright.
- And I'll have that thing off as well. Thank you. 
- But…
- An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts would tell you that l am perfectly within my rights. 
- Yeah, but we want to hear it. There's more of us than you. We're a community, a majority vote. Up the workers and all that stuff. 
- Give us a kiss. 
- Up. Let's go have some coffee and leave the kennel to Lassie. 
- Hey, mister, can we have our ball back? 
- Look, mister! Mister! Can we have our ball back? 
- Hey! Please, mister! 
- Paul, George, come here. Get at it.
- Hello, the income tax have caught up…
Song: I wanna be you lover babe, I wanna be you man…
- […German…] Guten morgen, mein herr. […German…] Ah, ze fifty […German…] Guten morgen. 
- Keep Britain tidy. 
- Aah hee hee ho! Ooh. Rule, Britannia, Britannia rules the..
- Help! Ich! Headphones! Help me! Help! 
- Torpedoed again, eh? 
- Come on, lads. There's a car waiting to take you to the studio. Hey, where's John?
- In the bath. 
- All right, Lennon, let's have you. Come on, John. Stop larking about. John? John? John? John? 
- What are you messing around with that boat for? 
- There's a car waiting. Come on. 
- Tell me, how did you find America? 
- Turn left at Greenland. 
- Has success changed your life?
- Yes. 
- I'd like to keep Britain tidy. 
- Are you a mod or a rocker?
- Um, no, I'm a mocker. 
- Oh. 
- Have you any hobbies? 
- No. Actually, we're just good friends. 
- What would you call that hairstyling you're wearing? 
- Arthur. 
- No. Actually, we're just good friends.
- What do you call that collar? 
- Oh. A collar.
- Oh. 
- Do you often see your father? 
- No. Actually, we're just good friends. 
- Leave that drums alone.
- Oh, surely l could just have a little touch. 
- You so much as breathe heavy on them and I'm out on strike. 
- Aren't you being rather arbitrary? 
- There you go, hiding behind a smoke screen of bourgeois clichés. l don't go messing about with your earphones, do l? 
- Spoilsport.
- Well? 
- He's very fussy about his drums, you know. They loom large in his legend. 
- What's up?
- Oh, he's sulking again.
- Ha ha ha! I'II show him. 
- Come, lads. First door, and no messing about. Lennon, put them girls down, or I'll tell your mother of you.
- This is impossible. We'll never get them all done.
- Then do us first. It doesn't matter to them whether they're made up or not. By the way, what's that? 
- My name's Betty. Do you want a punch up your frogged tunic? 
- No. 
- John, behave yourself, or I'll murder you. Shake, take that wig off. lt suits you. Ringo, what are you up to?
- Page five. 
- You always fancied yourself as a guardsman, didn't you?
- Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt. Zap! Zap! Zap!
- Hey, he's reading the Queen. That's an in-joke, you know. 
- Shazam! It's my considered opinion that you're a bunch of sissies. 
- You're just jealous.
- Leave him alone, Lennon or I'll tell them all the truth about you. 
- You wouldn't.
- Oh, l would, though. 
- l thought l was supposed to be getting a change of scenery and so far, I've been in a train and a room and a car and a room and a room and a room. Well, maybe that's all right for a bunch of powdered gewgaws like you lot but I'm feeling decidedly straight-jacketed. 
- What a clean old man. 
- Ah, don't press your luck.
- He's sex obsessed. The older generation are leading this country to galloping ruin. 
- What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this? 
- Hey, kids, I got an idea. Well, why don't we do the show right here? Yeah! 
- Hahahahahahaha!
- John, I'm talking to you. This final run-through is important, understand? Important!
- Oink, oink.
- I want a cup of tea.
- …and the last I’ll draw you. [I’m not really sure that this is correct, btw]
- One of us has got to escape. I'II get the boys. Hold on, sun. I'll be back here.
- For me? 
- One off to get you on the floor, watch out for your brisket. 
- They seem all right to me. 
- Ah, sure, that's what they want you to think. All coppers are villains. 
- Would you two like a cup of tea? 
- You see? Sly villains. 
- Um, no, thank you, Mr. Sergeant, sir. No, not for me. Please don't. 
- Well, son, it's now or never. All right, you paid assassins! Johnny McCartney will give you a run for your thru pence halfpenny. 
- Hey, you forgot your photographs.